Ashley was a seven-year old girl travelling from Mumbai to Dubai. She was an unaccompanied minor (UM) which means she was travelling by herself. The way this works is - her parents would drop her off at Mumbai airport and hand over their daughter and her documents to an airline representative who would guide her through the airport, immigration and security procedures and ensure she boarded her flight. At Dubai, an airline representative would collect her, get her through immigration, baggage collection and stay with her until she met her aunt who was to come and receive her.
That means for the approximately 3-hours duration of the flight, she was pretty much on her own. Quite a feat for a seven-year old!
Ashley was very thirsty and as soon as her flight took off, the air-hostess passed by. Ashley stopped her and said "Excuse me, could you please get me a glass of juice or water. I'm extremely thirsty!". The air-hostess snapped at her saying, "I'm already doing a million things. I will come back in a while with drinks", and went off.
Now Ashley could have responded to this rude behavior in many ways. Below are two typical ways in which the scene could have played out!
Scenario 1
Ashley got very irritated and bellowed, "I am thirsty and I have paid for my seat on this flight so you will get me that juice right NOW!"
Scenario 2
Ashley checked if the seat belt sign was switched off and got up from her seat. She followed the air-hostess to the galley. She told the air-hostess, "I see that you are terribly occupied and I am sorry to bother you but I am really thirsty. Can I help myself to some water from here and then if you like, I could help you out with your work."
The air-hostess' reaction in both scenarios can easily be predicted. In Scenario 1, the air-hostess would have probably got Ashley the drink but with a lot of under-the-breath grudging and swearing. Or she would have just walked away and given her the drink when she came with the cart. Also, she would have probably snapped at anyone who spoke to her all day.
In Scenario 2, the air-hostess would have hugged her, thanked her profusely and given her the drink right away. And she would have been happier for the rest of the day than she would have been in Scenario 1. She would have been nicer to others and may probably have passed the kindness along.
When people are upset, they tend to carry the burden of the world on their fragile shoulders. The best thing to do in such situations is to not add to the load but to help offload some from their shoulders. They may or may not thank you for it explicitly but be sure that they will feel good and remember to help someone else when they have the opportunity. You will begin a circle of kindness that will get passed on and on, spreading smiles and joy along the way. And in most cases, it'll find its way back to you!! No greater joy than spreading some then, isn't it?
There are so many little ways in which we can do this. We don't need to wait for an occasion to be kind.
You don't have to do great things to make people happy. Being good and kind in the smallest of ways is enough.
That means for the approximately 3-hours duration of the flight, she was pretty much on her own. Quite a feat for a seven-year old!
Ashley was very thirsty and as soon as her flight took off, the air-hostess passed by. Ashley stopped her and said "Excuse me, could you please get me a glass of juice or water. I'm extremely thirsty!". The air-hostess snapped at her saying, "I'm already doing a million things. I will come back in a while with drinks", and went off.
Now Ashley could have responded to this rude behavior in many ways. Below are two typical ways in which the scene could have played out!
Scenario 1
Ashley got very irritated and bellowed, "I am thirsty and I have paid for my seat on this flight so you will get me that juice right NOW!"
Scenario 2
Ashley checked if the seat belt sign was switched off and got up from her seat. She followed the air-hostess to the galley. She told the air-hostess, "I see that you are terribly occupied and I am sorry to bother you but I am really thirsty. Can I help myself to some water from here and then if you like, I could help you out with your work."
The air-hostess' reaction in both scenarios can easily be predicted. In Scenario 1, the air-hostess would have probably got Ashley the drink but with a lot of under-the-breath grudging and swearing. Or she would have just walked away and given her the drink when she came with the cart. Also, she would have probably snapped at anyone who spoke to her all day.
In Scenario 2, the air-hostess would have hugged her, thanked her profusely and given her the drink right away. And she would have been happier for the rest of the day than she would have been in Scenario 1. She would have been nicer to others and may probably have passed the kindness along.
When people are upset, they tend to carry the burden of the world on their fragile shoulders. The best thing to do in such situations is to not add to the load but to help offload some from their shoulders. They may or may not thank you for it explicitly but be sure that they will feel good and remember to help someone else when they have the opportunity. You will begin a circle of kindness that will get passed on and on, spreading smiles and joy along the way. And in most cases, it'll find its way back to you!! No greater joy than spreading some then, isn't it?
There are so many little ways in which we can do this. We don't need to wait for an occasion to be kind.
- Your mum's busy cleaning the house, cooking the food, planning the evening and setting the table for guests. Help her with some of the tasks without her having to ask.
- Your colleague is neck-deep in a project that has to be delivered tomorrow and you have some free time. Offer to help and do it geniunely and meticulously, such that he/she does not have to then spend time checking and correcting your work!
- Your neighbour is carrying a bunch of shopping bags. Offer to carry a couple of them for him/her
- Your friend is going through a personal crisis. Sit with them and let them vent without judging. Don't add to the crisis by dissecting the situation and pressuring them into 'getting over it'.
You don't have to do great things to make people happy. Being good and kind in the smallest of ways is enough.
In fact, I was having this conversation with a close friend, Manisha and we were talking about how, in our pursuit of doing great things, we miss out on the little ones that actually make a world of difference. Jim Collins, in his book 'Good to Great' said 'Good is the enemy of great'. He talks about how being happy with good or 'good enough' prevents greatness. But as Manisha and I were talking, we actually felt that this quote can easily be turned on its head as 'Great is the enemy of good'. In our quest to do big and popular deeds of kindness, we go through life overlooking the seemingly straightforward situations in which we could have made a difference. Don't let that happen with you!!
Share the load and appreciate the small ways in which you can impact other's lives!
P.S. Inspiration for the story in this blog post came from this FB post shared by my friend Vidya, that I came across recently.
Lovely post, Slo! We're so focused collectively on outrage, take-downs and comeuppances, that we've forgotten the power forgiveness, love and compassion can have, when sensibly applied. I suspect part of the motivation is that we don't want to look weak. But the smallest of gestures can indeed be transformative :)
ReplyDeleteI would just add that not everyone is deserving of niceness, and I regret the times I've been kind but only been taken advantage of, or ignored, in return. So you should be prepared if your small acts of kindness are not repaid the way you deserved. In the long run though, I think it pays off :)
Thanks Manisha. Completely agree with what you have said. Part of being kind is also not expecting that kindness back and being kind anyway!!
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