30 is the new 40! It has been for a few years now. So what's it really like to cross that hurdle and live life on the other side?
I've be in my thirties for a couple of years now and honestly, the change is so subtle and gradual that you don't even realise it. Heard of the adage, 'Day by day nothing changes, but when you look back every thing's different!"? That's what it feels like! A lot of it is just psychological but some of it is physical too.
Also, now may be a good time to add that not everyone feels the same. It definitely is all in the mind. We all know that seventy-year old who can put a teen to shame in both vivacity and tenacity. At the same time, we also know that 30-year old who starts talking as if their life is over. True, some things do really change once you're 30 and you start taking a long-term view of most things. But how you perceive these changes and how you allow it to impact your lifestyle, thought-process and attitude is entirely up to you. In other words, how old or young you are depends on your age but how old or young you feel depends entirely on your attitude!
Having said that, I will now launch into a monologue about what being on this side of 30 means to me. Along the way, I'll also maybe slip in some snippets and thoughts that my fellow thirties-pals have shared!
The 30s effect on:
Friendships
I think all of that stuff you do to be 'in with the crowd' or 'fit in' becomes meaningless. You simply stop trying too hard. You realise that your true friends will stick with you no matter what and accept you for who you are. And that they are the only ones that matter.
A lot of your work colleagues become your best friends, given how much time you spend with them during the week. You may see less of your other friends in the bargain but the best ones will stay!
Outings with friends become more sophisticated!! You move one from the CCDs and Baristas to better places that you can now (usually) afford! Better still, you may start preferring house parties because you either learn to be a good host who wants to try out different things or have friends that do!
Career
You start thinking more seriously about the longer run - what you want to do, where you want to be, are you really enjoying what you're doing and whether what you're doing now will be sustainable, relevant and rewarding in future as well. You also start thinking about where you want to be physically - whether you want to move countries or be where you are.
You start evaluating potential opportunities from a cost-benefit perspective - opportunities in terms of different work profiles, different organisations and even educational opportunities. You definitely put more thought into whether you want to get that Executive MBA or supplement your professional degrees with some additional domain-specific degrees or diplomas.
There are a lot of questions that plague your mind at this time and lot of crucial decisions that seem like now-or-never opportunities although, in reality, they are not so. It's never too late really. However, one must accept that though there is no real restriction on doing an MBA at 40 even, or changing jobs at that age, such exciting or life-changing opportunities do start thinning out as you get older.
An important question that you need to answer at this point is how do you stay relevant in your career as you likely move from being among the junior strata of your team to more responsible, mentoring roles. You start evaluating CVs of people born two decades ahead of you and that really drives home the point that you are now a senior team member who needs to have some domain expertise. You also start looking at what you can do to upskill yourself - whether it is by attending training programs at work or picking up courses on online platforms like Udemy/Coursera or by talking to your seniors to evaluate what areas you should specialise in so that you can become the go-to person for something! Continuous learning is key as is developing your juniors because if you don't groom people to get into your shoes, you will not be considered ready to step into the shoes of your seniors!
Productivity and habits
You learn to make better use of your time. Meeting friends, family and extended family or making it to social commitments and finding time for yourself require you to strike a delicate balance. You begin to choose your commitments accordingly.
Also, I believe that you tend to be a tad more productive at work for a couple of reasons -
- It is likely that some of the people who joined the organisation along with you have moved out now. So you tend to be caught in a time warp where your peerset is changing but you are constant!
- You likely take fewer breaks because you want to get home to family. Or to your me-time which may entail binge-watching a series on Netflix, catching up a PS4 game or finishing that book. You start making an effort to switch on and off and work as far as possible. (In my experience, this has been very hard to achieve because if you're in a consulting role or a job that demand you to be 'available' all the time, then you struggle with this. But you start wanting to make the effort)
- Because you are likely to have shown some growth at work, you are in a position to delegate some of the tasks and therefore able to focus on work that is more challenging and/or satisfying. This automatically makes you more productive
You also start consciously forming habits based on people, books and/or videos that inspire you. Like sleeping early, eating on time, being more organised, drinking more water (yes, this one helps too!), exercising regularly. All of these things makes you more active and productive throughout the day.
Health
You start taking your health more seriously. You realise that fitness decisions you do not make at this stage may cause irreversible damage to your health in later years. Many of my friends made lasting diet changes such as going Vegan or switching to a completely Paleo diet. Or more recently, practicing intermittent fasting.
At this point is when some of them went back to a sport that they were good at in school or picked up a new one altogether.
Yoga, Zumba, aerobics and gymming are all fitness activities that you tend to dabble in before finally settling on one or two that are sustainable on a regular basis.
Important to mention here that in addition to physical health, mental health is of equal significance as well. Getting back to your hobbies to keep you mentally happier and content is also a great way to stay spirited and one that quite a few people I know have done exceedingly well......me getting back to blogging is also one such effort. Hopefully I'll take to music again as well!
Financial decisions
If you haven't already, 30s is definitely when you should start making sound financial decisions and long-term investments. By this time you've probably paid off or close to paying off any student loans that you'd taken. With a little more disposable income, the tendency to splurge is high so it's best to start investing early and wisely.
There is a right way to save. Do you know how? Save first, spend later...and not the other way around. In initial days when you've just started earning, the tendency is to spend all you want, and whatever is left at the end of the month goes into savings. 30s is the time to reverse that, if you haven't already.
It's also a good idea to split your savings by objectives - higher or continuing education fund, marriage and honeymoon fund, children's education fund (if you already have kids), travel fund, so on and so forth. Absolutely essential to create at this point (again, if not already done) is an emergency fund. This fund should ideally be worth six months of your salary at least so that should you suddenly find yourself in dire need, either without a job or facing a health issue, you have something to fall back on. (Also helps if you finally decide to take that sabbatical you've always been wanting to!)
Love and relationships
If you're single, then you start looking at potential relationships, thinking of marriage or evaluate whether you want to get married or stay single. If you're married, you start thinking about whether or not you want to have babies and planning in that direction. This is also the time when there are hormonal changes in the body and you become aware of your body clock (or your constantly reminded of it by people around you)! There is suddenly a lot more seriousness in your relationships - in a positive way!
You start looking love slightly differently and desperate bubblegum romance gives way to more mature pragmatic expressions of love that manifest in the little-little daily actions - like saving the last bit of your partner's favourite ice cream for him/her, giving him/her a spontaneous back rub when they've had a bad day or finding that being together in silence is also comfortable and does not require great activities or regular 'going-out' to keep the relationship alive and well.
Don't get me wrong - you still need to 'invest' in the relationship. But instead of investing in terms of gifts or expensive dates, investment in terms of time and thoughtfulness mean so much more.
Attitude
This is the one thing that differs maximum from person to person. In my case, 30s made me a lot more pensive, even cynical maybe. But it's also made me want to get a lot more out of life - travel more, invest in experiences rather than things and make efforts to connect and stay in touch with people who mean something to me. It's also made me more environmentally and socially conscious. I always fancied myself as a thinker, but I think the 30s have made me an overthinker!
But honestly, this has nothing to do with age and everything to do with our experiences, interactions and inspiration.
What has changed definitively due to age is the fact that I am now in a position to actually influence people - there are younger people who look up to me for advice, opinions or mentorship and I feel hugely responsible indulging in such roles.
Priorities
There's no denying that there's a gentle yet definite shift in priorities. There's more self-awareness and consciousness for decisions taken and these are evaluated in detail in terms of cost, benefit, long vs short term impact, people and places involved, financial consequences and most importantly, the question of 'what do I choose today?'.
Every morning, I wake and need to decide whether today I'm going to prioritise my work or my family needs me more; whether that social commitment is more important than my me-time today (when I'll indulge in my hobbies.....like writing this blog post!)! I am able to prioritise these without compromising on what I want because the 30s have made me feel less guilty about making myself a priority!
That's my life today and it's on this side of 30, no longer the 'other side' for me!! What does your age mean to you, if anything at all? And if you're in your thirties or more, feel free to let me know if you relate to the above changes and have anything to add.
Come back for a new post tomorrow!
P.S. Interesting that I write about being in 30s as part of a #30daysblogmarathon! The thought struck me so I simply had to put it here!
