Kaleidoscope 3 - Day 28 of 30 - #30daysblogmarathon

Is 30 the new 40 or the new 20?

I posted this write-up on living on the other side of your 30s a few days back. Two things happened after I wrote that post.

The opening line of that post was '30 is the new 40'! Quite an emphatic statement. As soon as he read it, my husband's first reaction was "Why? Why 40? Why not '30 is the new 20'?!"

And then I read about this brilliant tweet yesterday that has gone viral the world over. 



And she received thousands of public responses of people in their 30s or older doing phenomenal stuff. For instance, a 47-year-old mother of four who published her first book at age 45 and has now started law school. Or about the girl who mentioned her 96-year-old friend who did an archaeological dig at age 75. You can read more instances and the entire article here.

Both of these incidents made me think more about everything that I wrote and only served to drive the point home harder that 'Age is after all just a number'! It also made me think about an even earlier post I made as part of this 30 days blog marathon on the choices that we make in life (that you can read here). How we choose to let our age inspire or impede us is entirely upto us. 

Yes, there are going to be lifestyle changes, physical changes, hormonal changes, career-related changes - all of which are, if you think about it, are very much in our control. 

So, 30 is the new 20, indeed!! 

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Bare necessities


Again, I'm writing some afterthoughts on my recent post on need vs want which you can read here.

A comment on that post by my dear mum made me think some more. I realised that 'needs' or 'wants' are just names or excuses that we give! It's simple - if your happiness is so dependent on something, you'll convince yourself that it's a need and make your entire existence about that one thing! That's probably the reason why what is a need for one is only a want for another (if at all) and vice versa.

But if you are contented with what you have, needs and wants are quite meaningless for you because you revel in the present moment. 

You realise, rightly so, that if something is truly meant for you, it'll find its way to you at the right time and in the right manner! You basically have everything you 'need' and anything additional is a 'want'! 

No written word summarises this better than the song from Jungle Book (a childhood favourite that still ranks up there!). The below lines from the song are my personal favourite!

If you act like that bee acts uh uh
You're working too hard
And don't spend your time lookin' around
For something you want that can't be found
When you find out you can live without it
and go along not thinkin' about it
I'll tell you something true
The bare necessities of life will come to you
They'll come to you!

Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
That's why a bear can rest at ease
With just the bare necessities of life!

You can read the entire lyrics of the song here if you want to.

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Onion theory of resistance! 
(Note to vigilantes and researchers: this is not an actual theory!)

Around Nov-Dec 2019 in Mumbai, the prices of onions went up drastically due to heavy monsoons and low production. The price went up by nearly 400% before starting to return to normal more recently.

During that period, this WhatsApp forward went viral.

While the demand supply theory is definitely true, the origins of the forward and the existence of such a Japanese practice is not known.

The funny thing is, irrespective of such a tradition existing or not, by sheer domestic middle-class logic, you start valuing the expensive ingredient, in this case onion, more and using it a lot more sparingly! If you can replace onions in a dish, you do. And bhindi-do-pyaza just became so much dearer!

Anyway, prices have a way of regulating themselves in a society because of the dominant forces of demand and supply but discussing that is not the intent of this post!

I was thinking this can be applied to other aspects of life, such as -

a) If something is bothering you too much and it is not something you can change or help, then consciously shun the thought for some days. Don't pay it any heed. See if it becomes less persistent or non-existent that way!

b) If you feel that someone in your life is demanding too much of your energy (unless they are important to you and/or incapable of having a meaningful conversation with), whether physical, mental or emotional - avoid them for a few days. Do a 'network detox' every now and then and get away from people that are too expensive for you to spend your time on (because you know, time is money!). And then when you're back, maybe they'll expect less!

c) This also works wonderfully well for diets because if you like something that's unhealthy too much, give it up for sometime so you can value it more when you actually get to eat it! And while you're at it, if you need any help forming a new habit (including a diet), go read my yesterday's post!

Basically, anything that is draining you too much physically, emotionally or mentally should be put on a detox!

Let me know if my onion theory of resistance can be applied elsewhere according to you!

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New post tomorrow! Just two days of this blogathon to go - who'd have thought I'd make it through this challenge?!!

Need or want? - Day 26 of 30 - #30daysblogmarathon

Roti, kapda, makaan - food, clothing and shelter - the three things that, since time immemorial, have been impressed upon us as the basic necessities of life. Anything beyond these were considered as 'good-to-haves' or 'wants'.

But as times have changed, so has the definition of necessities or needs. A lot of things that were wants earlier have become needs. And there is often confusion around the classification of things and experiences, that we spend on, between needs and wants. 

The key question for me when I choose to spend on an item (whether, gadget, clothing or even an experience) is not whether I really need it but what would I lose for not having or doing it. Am I richer mentally, emotionally by choosing to become financially poorer for it? 

I am not a saint so I don't just spend on my needs. In fact, a large percentage of what I spend my money on are wants. But as long as I am conscious of that and aware that should the requirement arise, I can very well go without it, I see no harm. It's not the ego of being able to afford something but the gratitude for it that makes the distinction meaningful.

So instead of listing down the questions that I ask myself when I want to buy something to decide whether I really need it or not, I thought it'd be more fun to put them together in a poem. So here we go!

I set out to discover
The difference between want and need;
Because with changing times
The difference is just a thin line!

Here are some questions I framed,
For that item or experience I think I need;
To help me figure and decide
Whether it's actually a want in disguise!

Why do I need it?
Are the traditional methods archaic?
Are the erstwhile tools so obsolete,
that I absolutely can't do without feeding the need?

Does the need satisfy
A basic requirement for life?
Do I need it only to fuel my happiness,
or even to just survive?

Gadgets and clothes;
The most enticing, the fastest changing;
While the basic varieties may well be a need,
Are the latest models or trends a must indeed?

And most importantly, is the need or want 
Worth spending my money on?
Do those financially worse off than me
Also feel this to be a burning need?

Of course there's nothing wrong
In indulging a want;
In fact it's quite the harness
For a nice little burst of happiness!

But I don't want to go around
Believing it's a need;
When the answers to these questions moot
Do not as much prove!

Some examples of needs and wants in today's context -

1. Mobile phone - This has replaced most stand telephones, cordless telephones and cameras even. I hardly know anyone who doesn't own a mobile. It's pertinent to note that traditional telephone devices and old fashioned basic cameras are no longer sold in most places. Does that make a mobile phone a want or a need? In today's context, it is a need. But do we really need the IPhone or is a simple phone that allows us make and receive calls as well as send and receive texts enough? Seems like that is enough? It is! Anything beyond that is likely a want! It's something you only spend on if you can afford it and have the willingness to! Also, if you have one of it, then that can be justified as a need but having more than one is likely a want (unless you're someone who gets a lot of calls or needs to keep calls discreet from one another like a busy professional, celebrity or the prime minister of the country in which case, owning more than one might just become legit!). Same principle applies to most gadgets and technological items such as, for instance, TVs, laptops/computers or flash drives.

2. What about commuting? Is that car or bike a need or a want? Can public transport satisfy your needs or is owning a private vehicle a need? It almost never is a need! Public transport may be cumbersome or it may not have door-to-door connectivity for you but it still serves the purpose of transferring you from one place to the other. You can choose radio cabs that do this even better and you almost don't need your personal vehicle at all unless you travel such long distances everyday that it becomes uneconomical for you in the long run. In owning your vehicle too, you can always choose between two-wheelers and four-wheelers, basic four-wheelers and sports cars or luxury vehicles. It's near impossible to classify this as a need in India. However, if you think of some countries like the USA where the public transit system is not as well connected or because the country is so vast, its way more economical for you to own a car then the question of whether its a need or want should be seen in the context of the geography you are in. 

3. Holidays - We all want to go on holidays. But going on a holiday itself is not really a need! Once you decide to go on one, the choice of staying in a lodge or a hostel or a 5-star resort are all based on how much you want to spend. There is no need to go for that spa treatment when on holiday but I want to because it makes the holiday complete for me! It makes me happy but do I need it? Questionable....because a getaway can also be a quick day trip to a nearby park and need not be a week-long (or weekend-long!) vacation!

4. Clothes - We all need clothes. But we all want good clothes! I may want to own the latest fashion but that's very much a good-to-have. One thing to note here again is the context - I need to show up at work everyday in a well-groomed manner so I need some good clothes but whether that need to be a particular expensive brand or anything smart and crisp will do is entirely up to me. And how many of them should I own is also a qood question to ask.

5. Kitchen appliances - Fancy appliances like roti makers, waffle makers, cake moulds, confectionery ovens may be wants (unless you're in the business of making roits or cakes!). But quite honestly, I can't imagine a home kitchen without a pressure cooker, a mixer-grinder, a hand blender or a coconut grater. And I know most people would own one of these! So I would definitely reclassify some of these from wants to needs. 

These are some of the things I could think of. What are your thoughts on wants and needs? Let me know in the comments!

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